Mom Rage: What Happens When We Stop Pushing Our Anger Away?
Understanding the emotions behind motherhood's most uncomfortable feelings.
Motherhood is often described through love, tenderness and the joy of raising children. But there are emotions that don't always fit into that picture, and one of them is anger.
In her book Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood, author Minna Dubin explores a feeling many mothers experience but often struggle to talk about openly: mom rage.
Rather than treating this anger as something shameful or something that should simply be suppressed, Dubin invites mothers to approach it differently.
What if we invited our rage to tea?
In an attempt to understand where her anger was coming from, Dubin decided to do something unexpected: she invited her rage to tea.
Instead of criticising it, pushing it away or pretending it wasn't there, she chose to welcome it with curiosity and generosity, almost as she would a guest sitting at her table.
It is a simple but powerful shift in perspective.
What if, instead of immediately judging ourselves for feeling angry, we paused to ask what that anger might be telling us?
For many mothers, anger can exist alongside exhaustion, mental overload, unmet needs, frustration and the constant pressure of being responsible for everyone else. It doesn't necessarily mean a mother loves her children any less. It may be a sign that something in her life needs attention, support or change.
Making space for the feelings we rarely discuss
There is often an expectation that mothers should remain patient, calm and endlessly available. When reality doesn't match that expectation, feelings of guilt can quickly follow.
But acknowledging anger is not the same as excusing hurtful behaviour. It is about understanding our emotions, recognising our triggers and finding healthier ways to respond.
Dubin's approach encourages mothers to become curious about their own experiences rather than adding another layer of guilt to an already demanding role.
Because motherhood is not made up of perfect moments. It is also made up of difficult emotions, complicated days and experiences that deserve to be acknowledged.
Perhaps the first step isn't trying to become a mother who never feels angry, but allowing ourselves to understand why we feel the way we do.
Sometimes, the feelings we try hardest to push away are the ones asking us to listen.
Inspired by Minna Dubin's book, Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood. Original feature shared by Oprah Daily.
